yes, but no: how mixed messages lead to conundrums
In early care and education programs, where teacher-child ratios must be met or classrooms must be closed, I find directors are sometimes torn between two opposing messages for their staff: take sick and vacation days versus do not let us down. Teaching staff who are sick or need a break feel pressure to show up when also being told work life balance is important. It is clear that if they are unable to come into work and if there is no one to replace them, the classroom will need to be closed—leading to a domino effect of negative consequences. Their responsibilities will fall on someone else’s plate, families may be frustrated, the director and their colleagues will be left to rearrange children for the day, children will experience inconsistency in care which may cause anxiety, discomfort, confusion, or a wealth of other emotions. And the dominoes continue to fall.
These conflicting messages cause more than stress. They can also be a source of guilt and bad decisions. Leaders need to be clear about what they want from staff, and that what they want aligns with what they tell staff to do. Hopefully, leaders say what they mean. However, the following list contains examples of common mixed messages. Take a moment to review the list, identifying mixed messages that are currently communicated. Keep in mind, more than verbal communication may be used to convey the messages below to staff.
Being aware of mixed messages is a first step toward clarity. Look over any mixed messages that you checked. As you review each one, consider the values and mission of your organization.
Which statements are more aligned with the values and mission?
Also consider your organization’s policies. Are there statements that contradict what the employee handbook indicates?
How can you eliminate ambiguities and mixed messages to provide more clarity?
How can you provide guidance when both messages may be viable in different situations?
This simple review provides insights that may help you to be less contradictory and clearer in your messaging. It may also help eliminate staff experiencing conflicting demands at work.
©Bella, J.M. (2025 September 29). Yes, But No: How Mixed Messages Lead to Conundrums. bella mattina. Retrieved from https://www.bellamattinaconsulting.com/blog/yes-but-no-mixed-messages. This document may be printed, duplicated, and distributed freely with attribution. Permission for the inclusion in publications must be obtained in writing from the author.